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Mind Circus

Posted in 2011, Circus is in town, Double-Sided Disorder, Feeling Fatal, Poetry with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2011 by Bonniestormcloud

Downward spiral here we go
Anxiety exploding
Anger is growing
I hate not being able to control this
Yes, you love me
You have not seen the edge
My edge
Or the fall
The plunge into the dark
Tears fall
No reason
Just so damn stuck
Four leaf clover was a joke
I hear my blue lace agate clock tick
I want to SCREAM
I want to RUN
Nowhere to go
I can’t get away from my mind
It’s not normal
Irrational
I’m frantically writing
Tears smearing ink
It’s so damn cold in here
Have to hide this mad slip
From family
Am I feeling fatal?
I think so
Yes we have reached the red zone
Don’t push the button
TICK, TICK, TICK
Shaking rage?
Not sure
Damn it Stupid Girl!
Stop your shit
When I think I am better
When I feel I am happy
TICK, TICK, TICK
There she goes
Down, down, down
Gave all the razors away
I want to SCREAM!!!!!!
Here we go
Let my Circus begin!

May 2011 ~ BJH

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Colbalt Gown ~ 04-22-05

Posted in 2005, Birthstone Lines, Feeling Fatal, Poetry with tags , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2011 by Bonniestormcloud

Garnet lines
Ivory skin
Emerald eyes
Darkened lids
Ruby lips
Angelic smile
Cobalt gown
Catches fire
Burning flesh
Smoking tears
Fearless mind
Tortured years
Cobalt gown
Catches fire
Singing softly
Funeral Pyre

©04.22.05
BJH

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Haunt Me ~ 3.24.04

Posted in 2004, Feeling Fatal, Neptune's Daughter, Poetry with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 19, 2011 by Bonniestormcloud

::Haunt Me::

Sea green eyes calling from the midst of the ocean
Churning by the beacon of safety
Calling to me softly
Not caring about the rocks in the wake
Eyes that look so peaceful
Roll restlessly by the danger line
I am helpless as I wade into the ocean black
I drop my gown as I wade into the midnight depths
Don’t look back sweet angel
For this is a night to remember
Cold water rises to my neck
As the moon shimmers in the icy waves
Stop… mid step
Waves crashing on the shore
And all I see is mesmerizing green
Eyes of peaceful safety
Beyond the point of fear
And under I go
My hair fanning out in the ghostly waters
Going to the love I feel
Knowing this is only a dream
And when I wake I shall be alone with the taste of sea green passion on my lips
I know this is unrequited
Still…
When the sea foams restlessly
I shall go willingly
Lost in the sea green eyes that haunt me.

©03.24.04
BJH

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Red River ~ 02-22-03

Posted in 2003, Birthstone Lines, Feeling Fatal, Interferon Days, Poetry with tags , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2011 by Bonniestormcloud

Red and smooth like silken sheets
Flowing from my endless sea
Staining pictures of memories
Scarring skin of white ice cream
Red and swirling droplets glow
Sliding down my wrist so cold
Washing my minds window pane
Red so much purer then drops of rain
Swirling, glowing, softly flowing
Memories hazy
My eyes are clearing
My pain is numb
Red and smooth like silken sheets
Makes a pool of purity
My secret habit goes to sleep
Once again I am clean.

by BJH 02-22-03

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Black Sun

Posted in 2011, Birthstone Lines, Double-Sided Disorder, Enter the Abyss, Feeling Fatal, Poetry, Storms in the Dreamscape with tags , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2011 by Bonniestormcloud

Today is not a good day
One of those old school
un-medicated feeling fatal days
that give you the shakes
Sitting with Mr. Sun
Not helping
Started crying
Can’t say why
Tears just keep rolling down my face
No sleep for four days
Was dancing on white waves
One of those days
When you feel the ground
Crumble beneath your feet
It’s not in my best interest
To be alone today
How can I drive
With teardrop eyes?
Feels like I am falling
That dark pit I used to love
The Red River misses me
Everyone says I am so strong
today is not a good day
I hate to sob
I don’t want nightmares
when I sleep

BJH 04-15-2011 1:30pm

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