::Claim Me::
Sleep is trying to claim me
I fight to keep it off
Dreams are trying to take me
I write to stay awake
I fear the pain that awaits me
When my eyes close to the light
I fear the thought of waking
And looking at my life
An altered life I found in dreams
But the dreams turned to torment me
Wanting to sleep not to dream
Wanting to cry not to scream
Wanting someone to rescue me
02-02-2003
Bonnie Jean Higgins
::Marisol Stage Left::
She blinks and wakes
To a new existence
Shadowed
Rainy
Lonely
She blinks again
She must be dreaming
Nightmares
Night terrors
Bad Trip
Blink, Blink
Hot tears bleed from
Green eyes streaked red
Dropping
Searing
Not drying
She blinks and blinks
She realized
Marisol
Exited stage left
Maybe she will come again in the spring
Only Clyde knows….
B.J.H. 12-24-2011
:: Clowns and Cotton Candy::
I was given tickets to the circus about 20 years ago
Went a few times not by choice
I didn’t like the show
Never wanted to go back
Woke up today staring at the clowns
Sitting by center ring
In a metal chair by a metal pole
A wicked storm is coming this way
I’m a target for getting fried
But as my friend J.D. says
I’m immortal
No lightning will get the best of me
Looking at the clowns
Garish primary colored faces
Better watch it cuz it’s raining
That face paint won’t stay on long
They should have invested in a mask
Amateurs
So funny I laugh
Mind slip for a minute
Guess I became ringmaster
While I was laughing at the clowns
The weather is getting pushy
I need to go now
I got Clyde’s cotton candy
He has a sweet tooth
Looking for the exit out of center ring
No break in this circle
So I’m stuck here in this wicked storm
With pink cotton candy
Ring master of a circus
I never wanted to attend
At least the clowns escaped.
BJH 05-23-2011
Downward spiral here we go
Anxiety exploding
Anger is growing
I hate not being able to control this
Yes, you love me
You have not seen the edge
My edge
Or the fall
The plunge into the dark
Tears fall
No reason
Just so damn stuck
Four leaf clover was a joke
I hear my blue lace agate clock tick
I want to SCREAM
I want to RUN
Nowhere to go
I can’t get away from my mind
It’s not normal
Irrational
I’m frantically writing
Tears smearing ink
It’s so damn cold in here
Have to hide this mad slip
From family
Am I feeling fatal?
I think so
Yes we have reached the red zone
Don’t push the button
TICK, TICK, TICK
Shaking rage?
Not sure
Damn it Stupid Girl!
Stop your shit
When I think I am better
When I feel I am happy
TICK, TICK, TICK
There she goes
Down, down, down
Gave all the razors away
I want to SCREAM!!!!!!
Here we go
Let my Circus begin!
May 2011 ~ BJH
::Night Whispers::
I feel the wind whisper in my ears
It brings a chill that I feel deep within my bones
It’s whispers are hollow like a disembodied voice
Telling me of my folly
Laughing at my tears
Scolding me for my feelings
The wind blows through my air
Icy wisps that crawl down my neck
That sink into my skin
Filling me with the coldness of death
Biting my skin
Stinging my eyes
And invisible presence on this somber night
It taunts me
Reminds me
Mocks me
GO AWAY, I scream
Let me be in my hell
I do not need to remember
For it is branded on my lips
The touch of him
I scream to no avail at the haunting wind
©03.28.04
BJH
Bon, B, Marisol, Elena, Princess, Witch, Sunshine, Angel Sybil, pick a name I have many
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