::Claim Me::
Sleep is trying to claim me
I fight to keep it off
Dreams are trying to take me
I write to stay awake
I fear the pain that awaits me
When my eyes close to the light
I fear the thought of waking
And looking at my life
An altered life I found in dreams
But the dreams turned to torment me
Wanting to sleep not to dream
Wanting to cry not to scream
Wanting someone to rescue me
02-02-2003
Bonnie Jean Higgins
::Marisol Stage Left::
She blinks and wakes
To a new existence
Shadowed
Rainy
Lonely
She blinks again
She must be dreaming
Nightmares
Night terrors
Bad Trip
Blink, Blink
Hot tears bleed from
Green eyes streaked red
Dropping
Searing
Not drying
She blinks and blinks
She realized
Marisol
Exited stage left
Maybe she will come again in the spring
Only Clyde knows….
B.J.H. 12-24-2011
They are always in the back of my mind
I hate to write always of screams
SCREAM….. you can never scream loud enough
Can screams somehow release your pain?
It never works for me
But… I continue to scream
My mind screams and screams
As I scream I smile at you and you think everything is fine
Do you scream in silence as well?
Early 2003 BJH
Downward spiral here we go
Anxiety exploding
Anger is growing
I hate not being able to control this
Yes, you love me
You have not seen the edge
My edge
Or the fall
The plunge into the dark
Tears fall
No reason
Just so damn stuck
Four leaf clover was a joke
I hear my blue lace agate clock tick
I want to SCREAM
I want to RUN
Nowhere to go
I can’t get away from my mind
It’s not normal
Irrational
I’m frantically writing
Tears smearing ink
It’s so damn cold in here
Have to hide this mad slip
From family
Am I feeling fatal?
I think so
Yes we have reached the red zone
Don’t push the button
TICK, TICK, TICK
Shaking rage?
Not sure
Damn it Stupid Girl!
Stop your shit
When I think I am better
When I feel I am happy
TICK, TICK, TICK
There she goes
Down, down, down
Gave all the razors away
I want to SCREAM!!!!!!
Here we go
Let my Circus begin!
May 2011 ~ BJH
Bon, B, Marisol, Elena, Princess, Witch, Sunshine, Angel Sybil, pick a name I have many
|
