Not For Death

When it’s dark inside my world
I take a blade or a little pill
I calm the screaming thoughts in my mind
With a little blood and some sleeping time
Not for a death wish do I bleed
Only to feel something, to feel relief
Not for death do I drown into sleep
Only quiet my mind, not to dream
You see my scars, not pretty I know
I wish they did not cause you to look at me so
I am not begging for death or crying out for help
I am only finding ways to cope with myself
Please understand and do not five me grief
when you see the red lines that sometimes mark me
This comes and it goes like the sun and the rain
It does not hurt and there is no one to blame
So love me in spite of my little quirks
And I promise to be with you until the end of the Earth
Support me, don’t judge me and I will be forever yours
And I promise to never purposefully leave you alone in this world.

©08.07.05
Bonnie Jean Higgins/All Rights Reserved