Spider Webs

Spider web
Ghostly threads
Caught my heart
My soul is bled
Glowing eyes
Wrap me tight
Shuts out the light
For breath I fight
Velvet voice
Laughs at me
I don’t want to hear
I cannot flee
Spider web
With dew drops glow
Luminescent threads
Feel so cold
Glowing eyes
Gaze at me
I don’t want to see
The sea of green
Velvet voice
In my dreams
I am whimpering
For the spider web
Has captured me
Lulling me softly
into nothing but
Spider webs
Ghostly threads
Caught in nightmares
Spider webs


Inspired by The Cure’s Lullaby and Depression

sometime last year

:: I Just Don’t Know ::

Double-Sided disorder

Strikes again

Went to the doc

Upped those meds

Explained to managment

Watch for Warning signs

Research the danger zone

When the circuit breaker is blown

Gotta stop the Hazard zone

Waiting for sanity

It always returns

Downside moments cause

unintended disruption

it takes time for the brain to stabilize

Constant effort

not always maintained


Fall of 2011

Circus Time Buckle Up Buttercup it’s gonna be a wicked ride

:: Clowns and Cotton Candy::

I was given tickets to the circus about 20 years ago
Went a few times not by choice
I didn’t like the show
Never wanted to go back
Woke up today staring at the clowns
Sitting by center ring
In a metal chair by a metal pole
A wicked storm is coming this way
I’m a target for getting fried
But as my friend J.D. says
I’m immortal
No lightning will get the best of me
Looking at the clowns
Garish primary colored faces
Better watch it cuz it’s raining
That face paint won’t stay on long
They should have invested in a mask
So funny I laugh
Mind slip for a minute
Guess I became ringmaster
While I was laughing at the clowns
The weather is getting pushy
I need to go now
I got Clyde’s cotton candy
He has a sweet tooth
Looking for the exit out of center ring
No break in this circle
So I’m stuck here in this wicked storm
With pink cotton candy
Ring master of a circus
I never wanted to attend
At least the clowns escaped.

BJH 05-23-2011

Green Licorice and Cherry Snow Lollipops

My neurotransmitters are not transmitting
Neurons not getting needed information
Are my mind and body not in sync?
Lack of information going to proper locations
Unable to process
What is going on at this present moment?
Thinking the same thought over and over with different wording,
Is this what I really want to say?
So I say nothing because this is much to complicated
I decide that my mind and body are not out of sync
It is a revelation that comes from the fact that I am
in fact thinking and typing and typing what i am thinking
So what is not transmitting?????
Rules and regulations
The part of the mind that stores this type of information
I like my neurotransmitters blocking this select part
lazy neurons
So I feel free
Head in the air
Like I am 5 years old going to the county fair
Eating green licorice because it looks gross
And sucking cherry snow flavored lollipops because
at 5 I know they are made of real snow
And when it is almost summer tasting snow is magick
I was a strange little girl.
Today was a good day
Two months into a long over due spring and summer only a skip away
It magickly snowed cherry flavored lollipops
while I was hanging out with two great friends
We shared green licorice that still is kinda gross to me
I kissed my boyfriend, fave writer and biggest fan.
He handed me some magick cherry snow
and in perfect sync our neurotransmitters stopped transmissions
BJH 05-19-2011

This is dedicated to J.D., M.R and B.G. and of course my own Caribbean Fool. ~ Good Times man Good Times