Not For Death….

Not For Death

When it’s dark inside my world
I take a blade or a little pill
I calm the screaming thoughts in my mind
With a little blood and some sleeping time
Not for a death wish do I bleed
Only to feel something, to feel relief
Not for death do I drown into sleep
Only quiet my mind, not to dream
You see my scars, not pretty I know
I wish they did not cause you to look at me so
I am not begging for death or crying out for help
I am only finding ways to cope with myself
Please understand and do not five me grief
when you see the red lines that sometimes mark me
This comes and it goes like the sun and the rain
It does not hurt and there is no one to blame
So love me in spite of my little quirks
And I promise to be with you until the end of the Earth
Support me, don’t judge me and I will be forever yours
And I promise to never purposefully leave you alone in this world.

©08.07.05
Bonnie Jean Higgins/All Rights Reserved

 

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Drown It

::Drown It::

Seeps into my soul
Eats my self control
Drink to drown it out
Demons scream and shout
Cant run away from this
Feelings never missed
Don’t wanna feel this way
Demons come to play
Cant control my mind
Thought that I was fine
Lost my self control
Drink to save my soul

©05.14.05
Bonnie Jean Higgins/All Rights Reserved

Dreaming through the years 2000-2013

Once I dream t of Camelot
Misty castles along the ocean
Once I dream t of a prince
Who would pledge me his devotion
Once I dream t of stormy skies
And a claddaugh ring on my hand
Once a fallen Angel
With demons in her head
Once alone on Saturn’s rings
Waltzing with the dead
I have dream t so many dreams
In my cherished moonlit nights
I’ve wrote my life’s story
By the warm glow of candlelight
I have dream t so many things
On my perfect fantasy world
I escaped reality and lived in fairy-tales
I still dream of Camelot
And Castles on the shore
But now I am content without a prince
To complicate my world

B.J.H.   August 7, 2013

Sweet Release

~~ Sweet Release ~~

Blue eyed angel steps inside
The forbidden fortress where darkness thrives
Find the girl with the cloudy eyes
Steal her from the Demon Knight

He holds her close and whispers her name
Wipes the tears that stain her face
Promises to be there forevermore
If only she would let him into her world

She opens the door with a fearful sigh
Embraces the warmth that floods inside
And in a moment of sweet release
Her heart is enveloped by his angel wings

Hear the thunder as the walls come down
Her dismal tower falls to the ground
In the arms of her angel prince
she gives him her soul with a teardrop kiss

Bonnie Jean Higgins
©03-10-2013

 

She Saw The Moon

~She Saw The Moon~

A sigh escapes from bluish lips
A feather falls
to the dungeons floor
A hand so pale
Touches leaden bars
A tear so small
Is lost in the dark
A threadbare gown
Once frothy white lace
A shock of hair
Covers her face
She looks at the only glimpse of the Moon
Allowed in this Demons keep
Her feathers once of midnight blue
Now fall to the floor in ones and twos
A pile she uses to place her head
As nightmares take her away

Bonnie Jean Higgins ~ 2003