The Strongest Person You Know….

She is the strongest person you know

She handles lifes difficulty with ease or so it seems.  Do you know what happens behind the scenes?

The doubt, the fear, the need ,the neglect. (She hasn’t showered in a week)

Her whole being is wrapped up in a beautiful blue eyed package. (Who always cries and never sleeps)

Her Autistic child, her life blood, her  offspring, her joy, her prison. Her legacy!

His milestones are brilliant to her,( he spoke again, he repeated, he copied,), mundane to the masses (he parrots,  he copies, no words are his), life shaking, heart breaking (he said Mommy is beautiful), leaps and bounds ahead of his disabled peers. (He doesn’t understand I love you)

Yet here she is, in tears, wanting, waiting, missing the life she had beyond the life her third child brought her into.

She blames herself, shames herself, berates herself for his affliction.

Fights for him, cries for him, is an advocate for his condition.

She has given up her friends, her job, her connections only to be his everything.

She is the strongest person you know. The mom who gives up herself for the advancement of her child.

This woman had goals, and dreams,  and a story; but gave it all up for her blue eyed boy.

 

 

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::She Never Made It Home::

::She Never Made It Home::

Going home it’s cold outside
My breath freezes as icy vapor
The moon she shows me the path to take
On an otherwise dark winters night
The forest sleeps only the sound of my footsteps
Alone in solitude
Going home to a warm fireside
Where family tells tales of old dreams
The wind starts blowing stinging my face
It tries to snatch the cloak from my embrace
Shadows form, clouds cover the moon
On this cold wintry night
Listening to elders while I sit on the floor
Sounds they creak as the shadows advance
I realize that I am not alone
And all I want is to go home

©01.20.04
BJH